April 29th 2015 is a date that will be permanently etched into my memory. It was the day of my 12 week scan, I was so excited arriving for my appointment with my husband. As we watched the screen full of excited anticipation we spotted our baby, ‘oh look there it is, our baby’ I said after a couple of minutes. The sonographer remained quiet, too quiet.
She then told us she was struggling to find the heart beat. She got somebody else to verify it and then it was confirmed, we had lost our baby only the week or so before. We were then moved up to the emergency gynae unit where we saw a doctor who explained that the best course of action would be to have an ERPC (evacuation of [retained] products of conception). I was treated well on the whole, except for the use of some of the medical terms such as ‘abortion’ and ‘products of conception’.
One nurse couldn’t understand why I was making such a fuss; ‘it happens all the time and it was early days.’ It was our baby who we already loved and had plans for. However, in contrast, on waking up a nurse said ‘Congratulations you are a Mum now, your baby has gone to heaven, but you are still a Mum; that’s why it hurts so much’. That compassion meant the world to me.
After we came home we buried the scans and my hospital bands and planted an apple tree. Each birthday we celebrate with an apple crumble.
I went on to have a further two missed miscarriages, losing hope that I would ever have a baby of my own. We underwent investigations after our third, which we found emotionally exhausting. We were both really struggling to come to terms with our losses and the uncertainty of what lay ahead. To help us focus on something positive and within our control we started fundraising for Genesis Research Trust. We completed 9 challenges and raised just over £4,000. A miracle happened along the way, I fell pregnant again and this time it was discovered I had a clotting disorder which was easily managed.
I am pleased to say that I gave birth to a healthy baby girl two months after completing our final challenge and two years later welcomed a little boy into the world. We still celebrate the birthdays of our three angels, this year it was beautiful that our children could pick the apples for our crumbles and we told them why the apples were so special (in very simple terms).
I had all but given up hope after my third miscarriage and all the statistics didn’t look great, but thanks to research into this underfunded branch of medicine, a cause and treatment were identified. I am so grateful for all the work that Genesis Research Trust do. I hope they will bring a happy ending to many more families with their continued research.
Our mission is to fund original research to investigate the causes of infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and premature birth and find better ways to diagnose and treat them.
You can help support our vital research by making a donation today!